I had the honour of being asked to read and review a new Gaslighting book by author Linda Hill. I must admit I cynically thought to myself "another gaslighting book!" However, this book sticks out from others because it (importantly) points out some lesser known facts about gaslighting such as :
Gaslighting does not solely happen in romantic relationships
The majority of books on gaslighting focus on this form of abuse happening within romantic relationships. Hill explains that gaslighting can also happen within families, friendships and workplaces, and details the consequences of this (for example, within distant family relationships; for example cousins, where maintaining boundaries may be even more difficult). The book also points out people can experience gaslighting at the hands of professionals, such as therapists and Doctor's.
Gaslighting is not always intentional
Hill highlights the lesser known fact that gaslighting is not always intentional. It is often believed that the perpetrator is doing this deliberately, and they are conscious of what they are putting you through; however this isn't always true.
It is important and completely understandable to grieve the end of the relationship
This may sound strange- you may be thinking, if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship that ends, surely this means you should be happy? Not necessarily. You are completely entitled to feel sadness over the loss of your relationship, regardless of how you were treated.
Poor communication can sometimes be confused with gaslighting
Hill points out that poor communication and gaslighting can be confused for one another; for example, someone may not be aware that what they are saying are "gaslighting indicators". Hill suggests that one way to ascertain as to whether this is gaslighting or not is to clarify with the person as to what they meant. If they become angry with you for questioning them, then it is likely that gaslighting is taking place.
While the book is insightful and interesting, it is important to remember that a book is in no way a substitute for therapy; while an author can write effectively on a subject, or even have experience in the topic themselves, their guidance is not therapeutic and therefore cannot replace a trained professional. If you feel you would benefit from therapy and would like to work with me, please visit www.victoriajeffriestherapy.com or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
You can buy the book on Amazon here Gaslighting: The Complete Guide to Identifying, Handling & Avoiding Manipulation. Recover from Emotional Abuse and Build Healthy Relationships: Amazon.co.uk: Hill, Linda: 9798438118565: Books