Psychoanalyst John Bowlby first introduced the idea of different "attachment styles". He proposed three different styles of attachment; secure, anxious and avoidant. It wasn't until later that a fourth style was introduced; this being the disorganised attachment.  Attachment styles are usually determined by our relationships with our care givers as children; however significant experiences as adults can effect our attachment style. For example, we could have a very secure attachment style throughout childhood, but as as adult develop an anxious attachment style due to significant experiences that have made a profound effect. 

I have completed a number of courses on attachment, including workshops at the Bowlby Centre. 

How do attachment styles effect us?

(The below is a very basic outline of how attachment styles may effect some of us)

• Those with anxious attachment often causes a fear of abandonment and rejection as well as low self-esteem and high anxiety within relationships.

• People with avoidant attachment can be avoidant of close relationships, struggle to verbalise their emotional needs and be very critical of others. 

• People lucky enough to have secure attachment ordinarily have secure relationships; thus meaning that they generally feel secure in relationships in the sense they rarely feel jealous, anxious or insecure and are able to maintain healthy boundaries. 

• Those with a disorganised attachment style are usually inconsistent in their behaviour and quite often distrustful of others. 

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