Stages of grief 

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Denial 

When we have lost someone, it can be hard to accept and acknowledge that they have really gone. We may carry on with life as though we have not experienced this loss and our loved one is still here. 

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Anger 

Anger is a common emotion following a death. We may be angry at the person for dying, angry at ourselves for things we could have/should have done prior to their death, and also feel anger at those around us.

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Bargaining 

At this stage we bargain with ourselves and sometimes a higher power (for example God or the Universe), We ask "what if I had done X Y Z?" and question whether the outcome could have possibly been different. 

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Depression 

There can be very intense feelings of sadness following a grief, which often comes in waves. We can feel so hopeless and down, and feel as though our sadness is never going to end. 

 

Acceptance 

There will come a time following a bereavement that we slowly begin to accept the loss. While we may never fully move on from the death, we may begin to feel as though we can smile and laugh again, and eventually there is a sense that the dark cloud has lifted.

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Bereavement specialist David Kessler introduced a sixth stage of grief recently, this being:

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Finding meaning 

Kessler suggests that during the sixth stage of grief, we can find meaning in our loss. Kessler gives the example of a parent loosing their child through suicide, who then finds meaning by working for organisations that help other parents whose child has taken their own life. It usually takes time and healing to reach this stage. 

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It is important to note that the above stages do not happen in a linear order.  For example, the depression may come before feelings of anger. It is also possible to move in and out of the stages. Each person's bereavement process is individual to them, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. 

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